Story or Series Title: Spirited Afar
Fandom: Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi/Spirited Away
Culprit Author's Name: Arika Phantomess
Summary: Finished! Spirited Away with my own two characters. Yes, I know this is a self- insertion, but these are my specialty. Please Review.
Insert snarky comment of choice.
Full Name (plus titles if any): Tokonoma Ogino; Qati at Aburaya
Full Species(es): Older Sister Clone-Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): Black
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not described
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Not described
Special Possessions (if any): "...a single rose, from a boyfriend I didn't really like and was more than happy to have dumped on account of moving away from town, and she was complaining about squashing her bouquet. He had been nice though, there were times when I almost liked him, and he was rich and bought me anything that had to do with roses and was silver, like the dangly- earrings, necklace, the rings, toe ring, the post- earrings, clothes, watch, scrunchie, comb, high- heels and diary. I was wearing the first pair of dangly- earrings, heels, a skirt and blouse from the clothes pile, necklace, rings, watch and the scrunchie. The diary fit into the belt I wore, and the comb was in a small, water- proof pouch, along with my money, at my side. The blouse was a red peasant- blouse, the skirt matched as well as the high- heel- sandals. I even painted my nails red. Everything was well worn, and cotton, and the heels weren't high at all..." Like - we - care. Also, she has her very own boyfriend in the spirit world: Hishen/Mashento, a tree phoenix. What the hell? Granted, I'm an ignorant Westerner, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't work out in Asian mythology.
Annoying Origin: She and Chihiro both cross over into Aburaya; after going through the exact same sequence of events that Chihiro went through, only Tokonoma has a sexay phoenix boy help her (after which they stare with great desire at one another, provoking me into beating my head against the table).
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Chihiro's older, beautiful, attractive older sister.
Annoying Special Abilities: She can do everything Chihiro does, and proceeds to do so. Her only saving grace is that she doesn't steal Chihiro's role - she just copies it. (Well, until they get to Zeniba's, when Tokonoma seems to be more important.) I feel lenient just because she didn't attempt to seduce Haku.
Other Annoying Traits: She's not just content with being Chihiro's sister, she also has to rip-off Chihiro's bond with Haku and have a desperate childhood love for Hishen/Mashento.
Love - of God. Pun not intended.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
( Oh the burning passion of it all.Collapse )
( I'm glad you can freely admit it.Collapse )
( What the heck does 'Qati' mean anyway?Collapse )
The grammar and spelling are both very, very good - but c'mon. Even the author says this is a self-insert, and it's not like she did anything to try and hide it.
EDIT: Can't believe I forgot this - Tokonoma's nickname for Chihiro is Chichi. I'm sure that was a stroke of brilliance.
Godawful Fanfic Rating: 4/6